Thursday, August 11, 2016

Issue #6 Call for Submissions!

Hey all, its time for you to get out those typewriters, quill pens, and crayons (or whatever you create with) because Issue #6 of Two-Fisted Library Stories* is now accepting submissions!

What can you submit? Stories, comics, drawings, photographs, recipes, knitting patterns, phony letters, fake news items, bogus advertisements, made-up issue blurbs, and whatever else you can think of as long as it contains LIBRARY ACTION. Stories can be about librarians, library technicians, library cats, sentient libraries, etc. As long as your contribution is somewhat library focused and at least a little bit pulpy (mystery, sci-fi, fantasy, horror, romance, etc.) it's fine! (This TV tropes page on Two-Fisted Tales might help give you some direction.)

Plus, we need COVER ART! If you're interested in drawing the cover, please get in touch!

Deadline for issue #6 is September 30th!

We're aiming for a Halloween launch date for this issue, so if you have a scary, terrifying, or otherwise spooOOOOooooky idea, now's the time to work on it!

Send your submissions, questions, and general accolades to

*"Weren't you called Two-Fisted Librarians?"
Yes, but we changed the name to be more inclusive of all library workers.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Issue #5 now available!

Issue #5 of Two-Fisted Librarians launched this past weekend at VanCAF! It's also now available on our Etsy store.

It features a super rad cover by Colleen Frakes, a comic by Annie Gaines, and stories by Ian Richardson, and me.

This also means that issue #4 is now available on Issuu!

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Issue #5 Cover and Call for Submissions!

I am so excited, because above you can see the cover of Two-Fisted Librarians #5! It features art by Colleen Frakes (who recently released her graphic novel memoir Prison Island)!

Of course, we need more than just a cover to publish an issue, so we're asking you to send in submissions of stories, comics, recipes, and whatever else you can think of as long as it contains LIBRARY ACTION. Stories can be about librarians, library technicians, library cats, sentient libraries, etc. As long as your contribution is at least a little bit pulpy (mystery, sci-fi, fantasy, horror, etc.) it's fine! (This TV tropes page on Two-Fisted Tales might help give you some direction.)

Deadline for the next issue is March 30th!

But what if you don't have the time or inclination to create a full submission? Well, lucky for you there are still ways to contribute! We're looking for phony letters, fake news items, and made-up issue blurbs. Just remember to keep them pretty brief. You can see examples from issue #4 below.

A few instructions:
  • Keep your letters and news items brief.
  • Don't complain about any real stories that have appeared.
  • Letters that are filled with complaints are probably funnier.
  • Feel free to ask questions to which you don't know the answer.
  • You don't need to write editorial responses to your own letters, we've got that covered.
  • If you're not sure what to write about, you can use information from this list of made up characters, stories, and more that have been referenced in previous issues.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about (because not everybody spends their lives reading old comic books), I'll link to a few examples.

You might also find the Wikipedia entries on letter columnsMarvel No-Prize, Bullpen Bulletins, and Daily Planet useful.

So get creating!

Monday, November 2, 2015

Two-Fisted Librarians #3 on Issuu!

You can now read issue #3 of Two-Fisted Librarians on Issuu! Check it out! Then rate it on Good Reads!

Featuring Crime! Drama! Romance! Evil!

I Spent 17.5 Years in the Library for a Job I Did Not Want by Annie Gaines
I’ll Make an Archivist Out of You by Adena Brons
The Dewey Policy by Robert Perret
Be Careful When Shelving the Ancient Forbidden Evil by Colleen Frakes
The Librarians of Penzance by Matthew Murray
And more!

Friday, October 30, 2015

Two-Fisted Librarians #4 on Etsy!

We've added Two-Fisted Librarians #4 to Etsy, so now you can order it!

We've also updated the other listings, so it's easier for you to buy multiple issues. Check it out!

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Two-Fisted Librarians #4

This past weekend I attended the Olympia Zine Fest in Olympia, Washington. It was lots of fun!

I had copies of issues 1-3 for sale, and people even bought some! Hurray! However, despite the presence of the poster in the above photo, I wasn't able to print issue #4 in time for the event.

But I did manage to print it for the Zine Librarian (un)Conference that happened on Monday! Hurray!

More details on where to find it soon.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Call for Submissions: Two-Fisted Librarians #4! Plus: Our Next Appearance!

Now that you've all had you chance to read the first three issues of Two-Fisted Librarians (either online or in print) it's time for you to submit to issue #4!

The deadline for issue #4 is SEPTEMBER 30th!

"What?! But that's so soon! Why?! How will I write/draw/knit my not very long story/recipe/drawing by then?"

Well, I can't tell you how you'll get it done by then (perhaps magic or some sort of futuristic technology? You are librarians; I'm sure you can find that sort of information somewhere), but I will tell you why!

Two-Fisted Librarians will be at the Olympia Zine Fest in Olympia, Washington, October 23rd-25th.

Yes indeed! We will be travelling by strange contraptions (buses) to far off (more than 65,000 rods distance away!), foreign (we're in Canada) lands that have never been visited (by us) in order to provide the thrilling librarian themed adventures that the public craves, and we'd love to have issue #4 completed by then.

So submit your felted 3D statues of librarians fighting monsters, your fumetti photo comics of the horror that is The Taxonomist, your pinup drawings of modestly dressed librarians, your epic sea shanties of pirate librarians on the high seas, your hastily rewritten Dungeons and Dragons adventure where you fought some orcs in a library, or whatever it is your potentially deranged mind can come up with. The chaos of astral libraries! The sadness of books that are never checked out! The ghost cat in the library! Send them to by September 30th!

All contributors will get a copy of the issue in which they're published, a "Two-Fisted Librarian" button unavailable anywhere else, and the amazing feeling of actually creating something!

Don't feel like you can create something? (You're wrong, but okay!) Why not trawl through old comic book covers and send us some that could be repurposed for the cover to our issue.